~On Self-Awareness~

   Gore Vidal has written, “What I am considered to be and what I am are two different things.” Extending this idea, it becomes possible to say, “What I think I am and what I actually am are two different things.” The path to self-awareness is lined with obstacles, making it all the more difficult to, in Socrates’ words, “know thyself.” For example, the nature of the very closeness we have with ourselves, that 24-7-365 relationship, may lull us into creating fuzzy spots on the mirror of self-reflection. We may know that we have a not-so-desirable trait about ourselves, but really not know how to change it. Thus, we let it slide, and over time, it becomes a gloss. Letting that kind of apathy slip into the process of self-reflection results in a skewed perspective, and over time, those parts of ourselves that we gloss over become more and more fuzzy, growing, if you will, like cataracts on old eyes. Eventually, we reach a point where we can no longer see them…

   The point? From a Zen-like perspective, don’t get too caught up in your own conception of yourself, because that conception is like a map which is only a representation of the territory, your ‘true’ self.⁽¹⁾There will always be a discrepancy between the two, and it is to live in self-delusion to think otherwise. Living in such a condition is a necessary consequence of being endowed with ‘ego’; if you realize that, you then have a cloth with which to clean the mirror…the mirror of your own self-reflection.

~ Suvian Quilmann

(1) “The map is not the territory.” ~ Alfred Korzybski